Photo series Self Portrait Project - Leslie Ramirez

Title: Somber Days

 

Leslie Ramirez, Restless, 2024

 

Leslie Ramirez, Despair, 2024

Leslie Ramirez, Distraction, 2024

Leslie Ramirez, Hopeless, 2024

My photo series is about mental health and its effect on you. I wasn’t sure if I could have done the other topics I had in mind, but I wanted to start a series revolving around depression. I think it’s a difficult topic to discuss with someone who doesn’t understand what it can do to a person but if you meet someone who does understand, it makes you feel you are not alone. Everyone feels this crushing weight differently; there are some days when you don’t want to get out of bed, you can’t focus on completing your work or you bury yourself in it, so you don’t have to think about anything else. If you’re ever feeling hopeless, confide in someone and get help, it’s hard to talk about it at first but it gets easier once you let it out. 

We can pretend to be fine and surround ourselves with people to forget why we're so upset in the first place. But in the safety of our home, everything we bury comes back to haunt us. People shouldn’t be ashamed to cry yet our society thinks so otherwise depending on our gender, "Psychological patriarchy is the dynamic between those qualities deemed “masculine” and “feminine” in which half of our human traits are exalted while the other half is devalued” (Bell Hooks). When a woman cries it is expected because it is seen as being over dramatic or emotional. When a man cries it’s a sign of weakness and we need a safe place to let all our problems out without being judged by others. 

I was inspired by Ana Mendieta's series about abuse and S.A. She started her work because a college student was hurt and needed everyone to know what that experience is like for a woman. Doing this series is personal and no one wants to show their weakest to the world, but Ana Mendieta showed them an ugly truth, “It’s about kind of capturing moments through various forms of documentation. And she takes all of these things to the world at large that might not be considered fine arts. She turns them into something intelligent, harrowing, and emotional” (Monica Castillo). I want this series to mean something and showing mental health representation through art can do that. 

Carrie Mae Weems's Kitchen series was another inspiration, however, instead of events happening at the kitchen table, it's in the bedroom. I think many people spend hours in their room, it’s our safe space and it can hold many fond memories. Weems’s Kitchen series showed us that many things can happen in one setting; “She moves from lover to friend to mother and to herself, alone. She commands the stage—she plays a woman aware of the viewer, sometimes stealing a glance while others remain oblivious, at other times directly confronting the camera” (Jacqui Palumbo). The photos show how I acted many years ago during my lowest. Common stages when a person has depression are difficulties in sleeping and they can’t focus on their work. When things get tough, we cling to something or someone for comfort. The feeling can linger but not forever as long as you talk to someone.