Weekly Selfie 8 - Final Project - Ricky Ochoa
My project, "Spacial Immergence,” focuses on autism. I used graphic design techniques in Photoshop to convey my experiences with autism, as it allows for a more impactful presentation of autistic individuals compared to traditional collage methods.
The central image will depict me in a cocoon, with my head and arm floating in space. I will include a family portrait through a portal to clarify that I am not intentionally escaping. “Spacial Immergence” represents the struggles of autistic individuals who feel trapped in their world while trying to connect with the outside.
I began by using a photo of myself posing with a blanket styled like a banana. I employed the object selection tool before applying a mask. Next, I added a space background and a second photo of my brothers and me. I selected inner and outer glow effects in the Layer Style tab, adjusting settings to create a shiny, cosmetic appearance. I am particularly proud of the portal I made around the image of me and my brothers.
In this project, I blended the blanket photo with a gradient tool and used inner and outer glow effects to express that I was on the verge of losing myself in my thoughts.
The differences between my previous projects—“Hanging On,” “Getting Through a Tough Day,” and “Miss You”—and my current project, “Spacial Immergence,” lie in their focus. The first two were more about my immediate feelings, while the third one began to add deeper meaning to my self-portrait. My final project dives into my experiences as a man with autism, exploring the psyche of the mind and emphasizing the need for understanding and integration of autistic individuals into society.
I also aim to find coping strategies that reflect how we experience the world differently from neurotypical individuals. This project raises questions about masculinity, especially since I do not conform to traditional masculine norms.
Initially, I planned to print a photo of myself and create a box with painted space backgrounds. I intended to cut everything out and place it on my designed background. I considered using spray paint to depict a portal opening, but I realized that wouldn't capture the essence of the autistic experience. There's a lack of shine and the powerful cosmic energy I wanted to convey. Thus, I switched to Photoshop, which communicated my vision of the portal and the inner and outer glow around me more effectively.
I was inspired by Lee Krasner’s “Sun Woman 1” painting, which captures exuberance and wildness. I resonated deeply with that feeling of autism, as it frames the experience in an authentic way.
Media influences identity and self-presentation by showcasing unique characters in appearance, ethnicity, and gender. When someone sees a character who looks like them or shares their ethnicity, they can relate more easily, fostering a sense of complexity and reality. These characters often serve as role models, helping to inspire and promote diverse representations that can lead to a greater understanding of those who may be different from the viewer.
For example, Shaun Leonardo, Bell Hooks, and Nick Cave inspired me to create this project. Shaun Leonardo explores how traditional masculinity and interpersonal connections are displayed. In one of his works, he dresses as a boxer and physically fights himself, symbolizing the internal conflict with the expectations of men to uphold traditional masculinity standards. I can relate to this struggle with my experience of autism, as I often find myself battling internally when my thoughts drift.
When it comes to masculinity, society often expects men to exert control over every aspect of life except anger, which is seen as a tool to control others. In my experience with autism, my emotions are much more varied; for instance, anger is a common trait observed in both autistic men and typical males. The difference lies in how this anger manifests: for an autistic man, it tends to be more chaotic, while for an average male, it is often directed toward controlling situations.
Nick Cave’s SoundSuits, crafted from everyday items, symbolize the overlooked aspects of life, much like the twigs he collects to make the suits. This resonates with me as it reflects the concept of masking oneself to conform to societal norms. Even as I navigate college, I am aware that autism is a lifelong condition. While Nick views the SoundSuits as representations of honor and celebration, to me, they symbolize the cocoon of one’s inner world and the struggle to break free from one’s imagination due to the challenges of autism. The various Suits highlight the spectrum of autism that many individuals experience.
Their quotes also resonate with me: Shaun Leonardo states, “But for Leonardo, the act of experiencing a space, memory, or feeling is simultaneously an opportunity to reflect, meditate, and explore.” This reflects the involuntary retreat to our inner world that often happens to autistic people, unlike typical individuals who experience it voluntarily in response to trauma. Bell Hooks points out, “Patriarchy as a system has denied males access to full emotional well-being, which is not the same as feeling rewarded, successful, or powerful because of one’s capacity to assert control over others.” For me, emotions feel more chaotic due to autism. While typical men may use anger to achieve their aims, men with autism tend to struggle to communicate their desires, leading to overwhelming emotions. In moments of conflict, like an argument with my dad, I often need to leave the situation and curl up in bed to calm down before we can speak again.
Nick Cave expresses, “I was building this suit of armor, something that I could shield myself from the world and society.” This rings true for me as I navigate everyday life in college. I’ve made progress but still feel different; I continue to mask my true self to fit in.
Works Cited
Shaun Leonardo, https://hispanicexecutive.com/shaun-leonardo/#
Bell Hooks, https://imaginenoborders.org/pdf/zines/UnderstandingPatriarchy.pdf
Lee Krasner, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w38lzDuasTc
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